Thinking About Prayer: Part 3

I think God expects us to worry. Or at least he's not surprised when we do. Certainly, there are always plenty of worries in life that can give rise to anxiety. It's amazing we don't spend more time wracked with anxiety than we do! Of course, for some worry and anxiety is incapacitating. And while, again, this doesn't surprise God, this is also not his will for our lives.

I've used Paul's words on prayer in Philippians 4:6 probably more times than I can count: "Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." I have used these words frequently in my own prayers simply because I can struggle with anxiety, that awful in-the-pit-of-your-stomach feeling that serves to distract and disturb. I begin with the thought that God knows I worry. If people weren't prone to worry, why provide such admonition? Only the presence of anxiety in people's actual experience provides ample reason for Scripture to counsel us in such a way.

Because God is our heavenly Father, he can be trusted. This is what we believe. Or at least this is what we say we believe; what we live sometimes contradicts our verbal confessions. But each of us is a bundle of sinful contradictions anyhow. "I believe; help my unbelief" are words we can all relate to at one time or another. Praying these words gets us on the road to trusting God. This is what Paul is advising.

The Message translates Paul's words here as follows: "Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns." Having worries is one thing; letting them dominate you is quite another. Prayer is an act of trust that what worries us needn't rule us, that even if God doesn't solve all of our problems in an instant, he can give us peace in the midst of them and help us through them. But for this to be true, we have to pray. We have to ask. To experience "the peace of God" we have to know him as our Father, one who will provide for our needs and grant us our daily bread.

Yet, it's still not always easy. I don't find it so. Some worries and cares are so immediate that the promise of peace from God through prayer seems an abstract and distant hope at best. We desire the peace offered, but find it impossible to believe. We do and we don't. "I believe; help my unbelief!" Sometimes it simply takes us longer to let go and give things into God's hands. And when we finally do it's begrudgingly so; and we offer no guaratee that we won't try to snatch our cares back.

But we also shouldn't berate ourselves in the midst of all this for our lack of faith. Sure, Jesus points out the disciples' lack of faith several times in the gospels; but I don't think we should follow suit here. Instead, I think we should approach God with whatever scraps of faith we have and ask him for more. Too many people get down on themselves when anxiety besets them. "If only I had more faith, I would not be so worried!" I should say that I am preaching to myself to some extent here!

Everything we think and feel is material for prayer. God already knows every thought and emotion we experience. So nothing we go through is a secret we can keep or a surprise we can suddenly reveal. If we lack faith, ask for faith. If we lack faith that God can help us with our worries, then ask for faith that God can help us with our worries. "Help" is the most honest prayer of all. More than anything, God wants us to trust him with our lives. Much in life teaches us to do precisely the opposite. Our world is not conducive to faith. We are surrounded by enemies that drain the energy we need to bring to our prayers. But even a whimpered prayer is better than resigned silence.

All this to say that if you ever struggle with prayer and with worries, you're not alone. And God understands even before you try to explain yourself. The best thing to do is be yourself, to be open and honest with him, "and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Thinking About Prayer: Part 2

Imagine that you've just upset or offended someone you know or love. You've made them mad. And now you feel guilty and sorry for what you've done. Maybe you've said something you shouldn't say to your wife. Or perhaps you mouthed off to a co-worker, a friend, or someone at church who really gets on your nerves. Both your common sense and good manners dissolved in an instant only to be replaced by a short temper and thoughtless words. Chances are, the very next conversation will at least begin awkwardly.

Or maybe think of it this way. You've neglected to keep in touch with a close friend, someone you intended to call or e-mail. It's been awhile since you've seen them or spoken to them, and you feel guilty for this. And the guilt you feel leads to further neglect of the relationship. You're afraid of what the next encounter will be like, so you do your best to avoid an encounter altogether. You really don't want to face that person. Fearing what they think of you and what they might say if you finally resume contact, you put it off. Procrastination becomes habit.

Often when this sort of thing happens, the next conversation or encounter isn't as bad as our anticipation of it. Whoever the other party is, they end up being much more accepting than you expected, than your fears led you to believe they'd be. Then you feel rather silly for having put off getting in touch or for procrastinating reconciliations and apologies.

I got thinking about all of this because sometimes I avoid prayer. Either I simply choose to jump into whatever work or chores lay in front of me or I neglect it because I've already been avoiding it for awhile. And why is that? I realized today that it's because, despite all my knowledge that tells me precisely the opposite, I fear that God is mad at me and won't hear my prayers, that my very avoidance of praying for a couple of days will mean God's not going to listen once I do finally get around to it and begin talking to him again.

I associate worries we all have with human relationships and superimpose them onto my relationship with God. That we all do this in one way or another at one time or another is no surprise. We can all fall prey to judging our relationship with God in the same way that we judge our relationship with other people. There are people, for instance, who question the title of "Father" for God since so many people have negative associations with their earthly fathers and, so the argument runs, will never be able to see God as a good and loving Father. The very idea of fatherhood is so abhorrent because of their poor and sometimes even tragic experiences that it forever taints a person's ability to see God as Father. In lesser ways this also happens. We generalize from our most common and closest relationships.

But God is not human. He is not subject to the whims of mood and appetite and doesn't relate to us haphazardly depending on the weather or any other temporary conditions. Even if I haven't prayed for a couple of days, God is not mad. He might very well be saddened. God wants us to pray. This is his will for us. But whatever he makes of our difficulties in prayer, our God is not the sort who will shut his ears to us because of them. This is because, despite the poor reflection of this in the world around us, he is a loving, heavenly Father.

So given the God we believe in, one revealed in Jesus Christ, I need not fear his retribution or rejection. Even if I have failed to come to him in prayer, failed to open myself in heart and mind to his presence by inviting him more fully into my life, failed to lift up the needs of my loved ones and brothers and sisters, God is not, like some people when we fail them, going to respond to me out of spite. He is ever loving and faithfully kind, merciful and good. If anything, I can always run to him, no matter how long I may have been running in the other direction.

I find it astounding at how easy it is to fall prey to misconceptions of God after years of reading and studying the Scriptures, going to church and being in ministry, and even after having lots of positive examples of God's good and kind character surrounding me with love and support. How feeble-minded I can be at times to judge God--often unconsciously--by the worst and most feared aspects of our human relationships: rejection, judgement, and failure. If anything, such a tendency to bad lived-out theology throws into sharp relief my own desperate need for God and for communing with him in prayer. In other words, the very fears I have about approaching God, knowing their source are not from him, should propel me into his arms rather than drive me away. I can only pray that this would be so. I pray the same is true for you.