Monday, March 23, 2009

Random Thoughts On Late Night Parenting

Getting up at 3:3oam to help feed and change your twin boys and not being able to go back to bed because one of them refuses to settle down and because your wife has what is probably a gall-bladder attack and because your daugter wakes up at around 5am due to all the commotion is, contrary to some opinions, not all that it's cracked up to be. That was last night (yesterday morning). Tonight (this morning) has been a little better. I actually got a few hours sleep so far. Though we still had to separate the boys -- I ended up in the living room with Henry. I love my boys, Henry and Eli, but I'll be very happy when (and if??) they start to sleep through.

Around 6am yesterday I realized there was really no point in trying to go back to bed. I had been up for nearly 3 hours. It was hard for me to relax because I was always thinking about the boys and hoping (and praying!) they'd stay asleep. So I stayed up. And around 7 or 8am I got sort of second wind; that is, I no longer quite felt as though I had been up all night. I anticipated crashing either later in the day or the next day. And I did, thanks to my mother in law who came to help after I gave her an early morning call. Thank God for family living nearby!

Now the funny thing is, these sorts of things -- family incidents, let's call them -- often, if not always, seem to happen on Saturday nights. This, for most people, would be ideal. It's the weekend, right? At least we don't have to work in the morning! That would be true for many, but obviously not for me (and if you're wondering why, just look at the name of this blog again!).

This means I had to go to church -- and not only go to church, but play guitar for the worship team and preach and lead the service. I'm not complaining, mind you. But most pastors do this with more than a couple hours of poor sleep behind them. Thankfully everything went well. Actually, it was a meaningful time of worship and fellowship. Odd though it may seem, God sometimes does his best work through us when we can in no way rely on ourselves. When it seems like we're in no position to work on his behalf, in those moments he graciously equips us. How else to explain the fact that one of my church people told me that yesterday's sermon was one of my best in awhile? (She was quick to add that I always do well, but was just particularly impressed and/or moved by this message).

As I write these words, it is around 6:38am on a Monday morning. I've more or less been up since 5am. Henry has still not fallen asleep, despite having been fed and changed. I don't hear Eli's cries from the bedroom anymore, so I take it that he's conked out. It could be that Henry is hungry -- again!! These guys have quite the appetite. So I'm slowly getting some milk ready for him to eat, since I want my wife to be able to sleep.

Having said all of this, I am still a grateful father and husband. Tired, yes. Somewhat delirious from said sleep deprivation? Yes, but still grateful. And I will be until after I've fallen asleep for too short a time and one of my kids, probably our little girl, wakes up in time to get me up before I've gotten enough rest. Oh, I'll still be grateful even then. Because I know that, hopefully, later I get to take a nap!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Music to My Ears: Part 1

I don’t buy many CDs these days. And that’s not because I download my music, either dubiously or officially; rather, as a married man with three kids it’s not often I have income expendable enough to indulge personal interests. I suppose it’s also because I am embarrassingly out of touch with music these days and I don’t get to hear much by way of new music. Most of my CD purchases are of music from bands or artists that I’ve listened to for 10 years or more. I also tend towards specific bands and songwriters so my music collection is not exactly a smorgasbord of diversity. When a band I like puts out a new album, that’s usually the occasion that I fork over the cash. Or I let someone else do it for me! And over the last few months, I’ve gotten more new music than I have in the last couple of years.

The first CD was Saudades de Rock (translated, ‘a longing for rock’) by 90s rock band Extreme. They’ve actually been inactive for roughly 13 years, the different members having become involved in other solo or band projects after the lukewarm response to their last album, Waiting for the Punchline (1995). I haven’t listened to them much in these intervening 13 years but I will say that, musically, this is an impressive collection of songs.

One of the elements of Extreme’s music that I always appreciated was Cherone’s lyrics, which were often satirical, thoughtful and, especially on Three Sides to Every Story, filled with Scripture references and themes. Three Sides in particular is arguably a concept album that moves from the political to the personal in order to portray humankind’s need for God. Punchline continued this tendency but with a darker edge, both musically and lyrically.

This was also true for Cherone’s one-album stint with Van Halen on Van Halen III (1998), particularly on the songs “Once” and “Fire in the Hole.” On the latter you could hear him belt out the passage from the Epistle of James on the tongue as a fire as the song faded—and that passage holds the key to understanding the rest of the lyrics. After leaving Van Halen Cherone recorded an album called Exit Elvis with a one-off band Tribe of Judah, and this album was permeated with ideas both theological and philosophical, with many of the songs unpacking Dostoevsky’s words, “If there is no God then everything is permissible.”

So getting back to Extreme’s new CD, I was hopeful and interested to see if Cherone’s lyrics would continue to explore spiritual issues. While the lyrics remain thoughtful and, at times, politically conservative (“Flower Man”), there is not much by way of overt spiritual exploration. I must confess, this was somewhat disappointing given Cherone’s record thus far.

The album is filled with guitarist Nuno Bettencourt’s trademark virtuosity and riffing, often betraying the influence of Led Zeppelin and Van Halen. Though he is probably a better guitarist than either Page or Van Halen from a technical perspective, his playing is also melodic and song-driven, making this an incredibly listenable album. So for fans of straight ahead rock music with intelligence who are looking for something to sink their ears into, Saudades de Rock will satisfy that longing.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Apneas, IVs, and Respirators

We had something of a scare with one of our new little boys this past weekend. Later on Saturday night we got a call that Henry, who’d already had to fight off one virus, had contracted another one. At that point they didn’t yet know what it was but he was having what are called apneas—moments when breathing stops. It’s not uncommon for premature babies to have it, but it is more unusual when a premature baby is already a month old or so. So he was put on a respirator, was put back on IV, and taken off breast milk. We were also told that they were going to re-culture earlier fluid samples from a spinal tap to check for meningitis. That was a scary thought. The fact is, if the NICU calls you about your kid, there’s usually reason for concern if not outright worry or fear.

So this all began to come down late on Saturday night; it was after 10pm when we got this call. My wife, understandably, wanted to go in immediately. But of course it was more complicated than that. It was late on a Saturday night—the night before Sunday, and being a pastor, I was supposed to assist in leading worship and preach the next day. We also have a four year old little girl. Waking her up late at night was not exactly a joyful prospect.

But once we decided to go in we had to get ourselves ready for a potential two or three days away depending on how things went with Henry. Once we had loaded the car, we quietly and gently woke Ella up. Well, we may have tried to be quiet and gentle, but that didn’t prevent her from protesting vehemently—at the top of her lungs—about being woken up and put in the car seat for a late night trip. Thankfully, her grand-parents are close, so that’s where we dropped her off. And thankfully once she was settled there, she fell asleep quickly.

I had already left a voice mail message with one of my deacons that they were going to have to have church without me, knowing they would understand. I called the next morning, after about four hours sleep, to confirm he got the message and to let him know any more details.

Needless to say, we were surrounded with prayer over these last few days. Wonderfully, Henry’s condition began to stabilize later on Sunday/early on Monday once he’d had enough of his respirator and tried to pull it out! Well, they left him off the respirator and he has needed it since. The apeas have not gotten serious again. Thank the Lord!

So now we’re home again. And I can tell you that while this will not be the last time one of my boys (or my girl!) will scare me, I can say that I will be very glad to have all my family home. That day will come, and not too soon.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Car seats and other preparations

I began this blog post about a week or so after the boys were born. I never got around to finishing it and in the interim have managed to get the car seats into our car, thankfully! Anyhow, I'm posting this now since I've been so lax the last few weeks. Enjoy!!
In a couple of days, I’m going to try and stuff two more infant car-seats in our current vehicle. They have to fit on either side of a larger car-seat. I’m keeping my fingers crossed, because having to get another vehicle would be a significant challenge for us. If we could manage, having a minivan would be ideal. Expanding from a family of three to a family of five definitely involves some major re-adjustment. Since our two boys—Henry and Eli—arrived as early as they did, we have a little time to get things ready before they come home with us.

There are other preparations, too, that need to happen before they get home. Shelves have to be put up. A crib has to be assembled. Rooms have to be re-arranged. Baby shower gifts have to be organized and put away. Baby clothes have to be sorted and washed. Such preparations are important so that the transition is as smooth as possible.

Now, of course, I have the distinct feeling that no matter how many preparations we make—all necessary and all good—we will never actually be prepared; that is, the very reality of having two more human beings in your home is never something you can be fully prepared for. Because people—even infant ones—are messy, unpredictable, and human. That this is so means that there are always things you can’t plan for, contingencies you can’t anticipate, and events that you can’t foresee.

I do like planning—I prefer to have things together. But the more more people are involved, the less likely I am to have things all together. I feel like even if I do get the house all ready for the boys, it won’t be long before all the work I did will look like it didn’t get done! That’s true of life generally—we do housework, for instance, only to have to do that very same housework again. In any case, you can never be as prepared as you would like or think you need to be for such huge life-changes—I guess that’s part of the fun!

A Family Update . . .

Yes, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted. But this time I actually have very good reason! The last time I updated my blog was five days after my boys—Henry and Eli—were born, and with all of the travel of going back and forth to the hospital, which is some distance from our home, taking time to post thoughts or updates here just wasn’t that high on the priority list.

Thankfully, Alisha was discharged just over a week ago. That’s made things much easier at home and for Ella, our four year old. It means that I don’t need to run around as much and that we’re home. Before her release, I was splitting my time between living at home and at the in-laws (who are closer to the hospital and able to help with Ella).

It also means there’s that much more normality to life and routine, even if we are traveling to the hospital to visit the boys on a daily to semi-daily basis. As it is, I don’t travel there as much as Alisha. Her Mum takes her about half the time, freeing me up to stay home and work. Yes, in the midst of all this topsy-turvy stuff, life goes on and I still have a job (or, more accurately, a vocation, but that’s a different post!).

Because the boys are so far away still in NICU, Alisha and I have both commented that, strange though it may seem, it can sometimes feel that we’ve not become parents again. Most days, especially when I’m home working, feel like a lot of other days. She even joked once, “It’s like when we’re in infant limbo,” an amusing, if highly inaccurate quip using the name of a (biblically unsound) Roman Catholic dogma.

Of course, given what we’ve been through over the last three or four weeks, when the boys do finally come home it’s going to be a BIG celebration. It will be joyous. It will be a relief. It will be wonderful. And, yes, it will be an adjustment and a time of settling will be all-important for us as a family. I can’t wait!!

Saturday, February 07, 2009

A (Belatedly Reported!) Groundhog Day Surprise!

And so it happened—unexpectedly, surprisingly, and in a way not at all planned by Mommy and Daddy: our boys, Henry and Eli, were born on Groundhog Day, 2009, via a caesarean section. Though it happened a couple of months early, they were healthy, a good weight, and were soon breathing on their own. I followed them as they were being whisked away to the NICU after the delivery.

Mommy wasn’t doing as well—or so we would soon learn. She had symptoms of something called pre-eclampsia (or similar syndrome, HELP), and would have been in even more serious trouble had she not had the boys either that day or very soon thereafter. She ended up in ICU herself for the first two and a half days. Thankfully, on the third day her symptoms began to abate. Now she is in maternity and nearer to the boys.

So it’s been a crazy week. I’ve been back and forth between the hospital, my in-laws (who live closer to the hospital than us), and our house. It’s been a strange but wonderful time, being able to finally meet the little ones who’ve been housed in their mother’s womb for the last seven months. It’s almost unreal, in a way. It takes time to adjust to this reality—to the notion of having two new children in your life. I mean, even though we’ve been expecting them, and have gone through it with our daughter before, only once they’ve entered into our world physically and we can see and hold them does it seem like a more concrete reality.

The journey, of course, has just begun for us. And in fact since they’re in NICU and will be probably for four or five weeks, it feels like, in some sense, the journey is postponed. Only once they’re actually home with us and we’re together—all together—as a family will it feel like we can truly begin our joint journey. But all good things come in time, and we’ll just have to be patient.

There’s no way I can imagine what lies ahead—the role of parenting has the biggest learning curve of any vocation, profession, or relationship. It’s at times exciting, scary, worrisome, joyous, and wondrous. Sometimes it’s all these things at once, like that oldest of human moments when you see your kids come out of the womb (through c-section or otherwise!).

So that has been our week: unplanned like much of life, but still, in the end, very good. It’s hard to say whether having two more kids will result in more blogging or less, but one thing is certain: whether or not I blog more, I will definitely have more to blog about!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Getting to the Last Page: Part 3

My brother-in-law’s wife apparently has a habit when it comes to reading books—a habit that really only applies to fiction and not non-fiction, but a habit I’ll likely never emulate all the same: she reads the last page first. I suppose that’s one way of making sure that you get to the last page and of alleviating the suspense about how the story is going to work out. I guess it helps in case something happens and for some reason you aren’t able to read all those pages between the beginning and end—you can, with relief, say, “Ah, but at least I know how it all turns out!” But I don’t do this, and not only because I rarely read fiction.

My problem is different. You see, I have a lot of books. And many of them I have started reading. And many of them I have not finished reading. And since most of them are non-fiction, skipping to the last page for a glance wouldn’t help me much. But because I end up putting books aside, forgetting about them, and not finishing them, it’s always something of a triumph when I actually manage to get to the last page.

That’s why I can say I have been victorious and triumphant over the last several weeks. I have actually read and completed a number of books: A.W. Tozer’s The Knowledge of the Holy, Timothy Keller’s The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism, Donald Miller’s Blue Like Jazz: Non-Religious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality and his Searching for God Knows What, and Henri J.M. Nouwen’s The Living Reminder: Service and Prayer in Memory of Jesus Christ. Each of these authors is very different from one another. And I have appreciated, enjoyed, learned from, and been moved by them all in one way or another.

This time, however, rather than my problem being not finishing a book it might have been plowing through the book to make sure I do get to the last page. Sometimes I have the tendency to keep reading rather than stopping and taking time to reflect on what I have just read.

One example: last night after posting on discovering Nouwen’s The Living Reminder, I finished it. Now, granted, it was a thin book, easy to read in an evening. But easy to read doesn’t mean easy to digest or process. And his reflections on ministry certainly warrant more prayerful reflection (and at a future date I will share some of what he says).

Particularly when reading authors who are reflecting on the Christian life, theologically or pastorally or personally, I feel as though I am in the company of spiritual companions. And depending on the author, I may also feel as though this author is very nearly a pastor to me, a guide on how to listen more attentively to God’s voice in my life.

But for such a thing to happen, ideally, we have to digest what these authors tell us. Truth takes time to absorb. Books involve us in a spiritual conversation and our taking time to think about what we’ve read—something not always easy to do or something we’re inclined to do—becomes our half of the dialogue.

I confess that sometimes I feel guilty after reading a book, because even though while I was in the process of reading it so moved me or helped me I find I can’t remember specific quotations and would struggle to convey what it said to someone else. Often in trying to get across the meaning or impact of what I’ve read to someone else, it comes out drained of colour and lacking in the very qualities that engaged me in the first place. That makes me wonder whether I’ve really read it after all, if you get my meaning. And this is why I have the habit of reading paragraphs, sections, and sometimes whole chapters of books to my wife—I want to share what it says, but I want to do that without getting in the way. My wife is often, but not always, very accommodating about this.

All that said, I do hope that even if I can’t remember specific quotes from a good book and can’t always convey very well what it says in my own words, that somehow the simple act of reading it has changed me and formed me. That is, just like having a conversation with a friend can make you feel loved and understood—more human—even if you don’t remember all the details of the conversation, the important thing is that you had the conversation, that you sat across from one another at Tim’s; so here.

Anyway, already I want to go back with some of these books and be more intentional about gleaning wisdom from them by reflecting on them. With Nouwen’s book, I intentionally underlined here and there. This is also a good way to make a book a conversation partner. I suppose this would help me to slow down and digest a little more. And it occurs to me that rushing through a book that deserves more careful attention is not unlike trying to rush through a conversation with a person who deserves our attention. We gain more by not rushing to the last page.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Getting to the Last Page: Part 2

In one of my recent posts I said, “I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my own relationship with God and about how hard it is sometimes to give it a lot of thought or consideration because God is what I do for a living. I don’t intend for that last sentence to sound irreverent, but being a pastor sometimes makes it hard to spend time focusing on your own faith, on your own walk with Christ.”

At the heart of what I was feeling was something of a disconnect that can occur too easily: the separation of ‘professional’ ministry and personal faith. Part of the reason a pastor may experience this is because each week you’re responsible for preaching, organizing a worship service, perhaps preparing music, leading group studies, and visiting; and in the midst of all this—the appointments and events that fill our day-planners—our own relationship with God can end up on the periphery.

I know that I’ve felt this. Life can get pretty busy, and between making sure I fulfill all of my pastoral and family responsibilities my own personal faith can sometimes fall between the cracks. But when this happens, it doesn’t take all that long—but even then perhaps it takes too long!—to realize that something isn’t quite right. Something is askew.

And though all of my vocational responsibilities are getting done, some indefinable quality needed in the midst of fulfilling my vocational calling is missing. That indefinable quality is the one thing that is indispensable: God. And of course God is not a quality, but a person, the Person, the reason why my vocation exists at all. But because he’s not, strictly speaking, visible, we can, unfortunately, ignore him and carry on doing ministry on our own.

Now when I say we can ignore him, I don’t really mean that. Instead, we neglect prayer. We read books other than Scripture. We fail to spend time quietly meditating in his presence. We avoid dealing with our own spiritual life for the sake of the ministry and in doing so we inadvertently impair our ministry; that is, we hinder our own ability to serve others by being reminders of God’s grace and light.

But the fact is that the two cannot be separated; professional ministry and personal faith go hand in hand. It is the dynamic between the two that makes a pastor. I say that, of course, and I believe it, but I am not always the best example of it.

So all of this is going through my head, and in my case I’m trying to find my way back to that balance, and while in my office one day I come across—accidentally?—a book. I was looking for a completely different book, which I never did find. The book whose spine drew my attention was Henri J.M. Nouwen’s The Living Reminder: Service and Prayer in Memory of Jesus Christ. I actually took it off the shelf because I couldn’t read the spine! It’s a thin book, less than a hundred pages, and I once I had it my hands I took a quick glance at the introduction. Here is what I read:

“What are the spiritual resources of ministers? What prevents them from becoming dull, sullen, lukewarm bureaucrats, people who have many projects, plans, and appointments but who have lost their heart somewhere in the midst of their activities? What keeps ministers vital, alive, energetic, and full of zeal? What allows them to preach and teach, counsel and celebrate with a continuing sense of wonder, joy, gratitude, and praise? These are the questions of this book.”

And as soon as my eyes poured over these words, I knew I had to read this book. It was just one of those moments where it felt like what I could have regarded as a coincidence or accident—the plucking off the shelf of a book I wasn’t even looking for—was actually a God moment.

That being the case, I’m reading it in anticipation that God wants to say something to me through these pages. I don’t know precisely what yet and maybe I won’t know right away. I’ll hopefully have more to share later. But right now reading this unassuming little volume feels to me like a small, seemingly insignificant act of obedience. I’m hoping and praying that my reading will bear rich fruit even if my doing so only results in a small nugget of insight or encouragement. That alone is reason enough to get the last page.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Getting to the Last Page: Part 1

My office shelves are well-stocked with many books. Most are books of theology and biblical studies. Many are academic, and quite a number fall somewhere between academic and popular-level reading. I used to buy books much more frequently, unsurprising since I once was but am no longer a university student.

During that period of my life not only did I get the textbooks required for my courses, I also frequented the religion and theology sections of any used bookstores I could find. I would scour the shelves for volumes recommended by professors, for books by authors I was already reading, for tomes that would be financially inaccessible at retail, and for classic works I knew I should have.

In more recent years I have not been as avid a book-buyer. This is partly because of the cost of books, but also because, while I used to buy books in the hopes that one day I might get around to reading them, now I usually only purchase books that I know (or am pretty sure) I will read. That narrows it down considerably. There are books and even book-sets (Barth’s Church Dogmatics being one example) that would look mighty impressive on a bookcase but would likely gather dust rather than get read.

This isn’t counting books I have gotten with every intention of reading but which, after I have begun reading them, have gotten set aside either because of time or forgetfulness or more immediately pressing responsibilities.

So I’m always glad these days when I get books (either myself or as gifts) that I actually manage to finish. I have a few recent examples, one of which I’ll mention in this post. The first is A.W. Tozer’s The Knowledge of the Holy, which is part theological treatise on God’s attributes and part devotional on God’s attributes.

What I really appreciated about Tozer’s writing is that he really took some very abstract ideas, such as God’s self-existence or transcendence, and personalized them—that is, he makes the connection between the attributes of God and our own relationship with God. This is not a dry theology text, but a meditation on God’s nature that, if read prayerfully and thoughtfully, cannot help but move the heart as well as inform the mind.

Tozer is also intentional about making each chapter (one on each attribute) relatively short, never more than 10 pages each and often between 5 and 6 pages. This makes it ideal for reading one chapter a day along with your Bible reading. At the beginning of each chapter there is also a prayer whose theme reflects the attribute examined in that particular chapter. Even in his exposition he sometimes breaks into prayer—not unlike Karl Barth in Prayer, his book on the Lord’s Prayer and the Reformers' interpretation of it.

Another thing I like about Tozer’s book is that in a day and age when in evangelical circles we can sometimes seem too cozy or comfortable in our relationship with God, he communicates effectively the holiness, that is, the otherness, the apart-from-us-ness, of God. And in doing so, any sensitive reader will, at times, be both comforted and convicted, challenged and assured.

And rather than start from our experience and ask, “What does this mean for my relationship with and understanding of God?” he starts with a characteristic of God and asks, “How should this inform my experience and my relationship with God?” God comes first. Who God is shapes our experience and understanding, not the other way around. That this is a basic biblical approach doesn’t stop a lot of believers from relying on their own experience more than what the Bible says about God’s nature and character.

Several times while reading The Knowledge of the Holy I found myself thinking how great a sermon series this would be—and by that I mean, how great would it be just to stand at the pulpit and read Tozer to the congregation. You know a book is at the very least a good book if it’s one you’d like to share with others; you know it’s a great book if you have to find a way to share it with others. Tozer’s book, for me at least, is an example of the latter.

Learning to Avoid Short-hand

In high school I remember taking a course in short-hand. Beyond that, I don’t remember much. I do recall that short-hand consists of a series of odd squiggles and lines and dots that are supposed to represent different letters and words. Learning to use it was supposed to help us take notes more quickly—though I have no memory whatever of actually using what I was learning in this course. So I guess it wasn’t so helpful at all, except perhaps in keeping my GPA nice and steady.

Thinking about it now, I’m sort of glad that I have long forgotten how to use it. I also don’t have any evidence that I actually took the course, no notes filled with tests and quizzes and assignments on short-hand. And again, I’m glad. If I were to find them now, I’d have no way to read those notes shy of re-acquainting myself with short-hand. The notes would be useless to me and indecipherable to anyone else—unless they happened to be adept at this particularly arcane skill. But, honestly, unless you’re in need of some sort of code language to hide secret messages, why would you want to know how to use short-hand?

It strikes me, though, that in our world people use all kinds of short-hand, even if not of the formal sort that I once learned in high school. Being able to use a form of short-hand is basically about being able to say more with less or at least the same with less. It’s a language, a way of communicating without having to have an abundance of explanation. To that extent, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes it’s helpful to be able to make yourself understood with minimal verbiage or by using mutually understood terms and references that get the point the across between parties that already understand the terms and references.

Often organizations and groups and limited networks of people develop forms of short-hand. This is even true in churches. As Christians we use all kinds of terms and references that are a form of short-hand. (Check this post for instances of this—see what number you come up with!) For instance, we will ask a fellow Christian about a third party, “Is he born again?” or “Is she saved?” This is short-hand for asking if the person has placed their trust in God, asked him to forgive their sins and has entered into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and has confessed him as Lord and Saviour.

As you can easily see, asking if someone is born again or saved is a lot easier than asking if they have placed their trust in God, been forgiven, has entered in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ by confessing him as Lord and Saviour! But even in the longer form of the question, there are terms and references that could be considered a form of short-hand, such as “a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.” What does that mean?

Some of the short-hand in the church is straight out of Scripture and most of it is at least biblically based. It’s a form of quickly summarizing what we believe and what we want to say around people who already have something of a grasp of the in-language. I would never suggest ridding our vocabulary of these terms or our conversation, prayers, sermons, and studies of these references. Especially when it comes to the terms that come right from the Bible, I would argue that we need to retain them. But we do need to realize that as a form of short-hand, using such terms and references thoughtlessly comes with a few difficulties and pitfalls, both for us and for those outside the church.

First, us. One pitfall about such short-hand or in-language is that when using it we often, even in churches, assume we mean the same thing by the same terms. We’ve all heard about the danger involved when we assume something (or at least I assume you have. If not, break down the word into three parts and see what the two parties become who make assumptions in conversation!).

Seriously, this probably happens more than we think. Words carry loads of meaning, even beyond their biblical intention (that is, when they are biblical terms). People bring to the words they use wads of associations and experiences that may or may not be shared with the person they’re talking with over coffee after the church service, colouring the meaning such that, were the persons to carefully define their terms, they would realize that they were not on the same wavelength at all.

I know that certain terms and references some Christians use cause a certain reaction in me, not based on what they might mean by those terms but by what I have come to associate with those terms. One of those, just as an example, is when someone refers to another Christian as anointed, meaning that said individual is specially used or gifted by God to speak or minister in an especially powerful way. Usually the term is used of leaders in the church, pastors or teachers or sometimes people who minister through music.

Now when I hear the term anointed, what it says to me has something of a Pentecostal ring to it. That is, for a preacher to be anointed his preaching, both through content and delivery, has to result in a lot of amens, tears, and even conversions. It suggests to me that the response to the sermon is immediate and emotional and direct. You know as you preach how people are responding to your preaching.

One the flipside, it suggests that preaching that is not like this, not anointed, is somehow inferior preaching. It may have been a good message, but it was not one that moved people. It wasn’t Spirit-filled even if it was Word-filled. Now there may very well be lots of sermons that have great content but perhaps aren’t very inspiring—and don’t result in emotional responses in the congregation—but I wouldn’t limit the power of a particular sermon to this understanding of anointed.

For me to associate all of this with the word anointed may or may not be right. But all I have to hear is the word—“That pastor is anointed!”—and that’s what immediately comes to my mind. And, subsequently, I wonder what such a person would make of my sermons, which hardly ever result in noticeable emotional responses. What does it say of my preaching? In my worst moments, when I hear such language, I question whether I am anointed in any sense of the word!

Another problem amongst Christians when it comes to in-language is that when we become too accustomed to such terms and easy points of reference, we run the risk of not thinking more deeply about what we’re saying, about the words and language we use. If our thinking doesn’t go deeper than the formulaic terms we use, that is a definite problem.

But we don’t only misunderstand and confuse one another with our in-language. We confuse non-believers, people who don’t have the advantage of having some familiarity with our way of using what a friend of mine used to call “Christianese.” People who aren’t believers also bring a bunch of baggage to some of the terms and references we use—just think of what more liberal Americans think when they hear the terms “evangelical” or “born-again Christian.” They hear things, in some cases, that we don’t want them to hear.

For someone to use churchy-talk with a non-Christian is just as problematic as me using academic theological language with other believers. So, for instance, while some might know that soteriology is the study of the Christian doctrine of salvation, many if not most Christians would not—but they don’t really need to since to understand salvation knowing such a specialized academic term is unnecessary.

To that extent, I would not use a word like soteriology in everyday conversation and if I ever did use it in a Bible study or sermon, I would carefully define it so people would understand—never use such language simply to impress people, to let them know that you know what it means even if they don’t. The problem, though, is that we don’t have to use a word like this to confuse or mislead someone outside the faith—just saying so and so is “saved” might be enough. Depending on the person, what we say might be no more decipherable than those short-hand squiggles and lines I learned in high school!

This kind of thing occurs to me when I’m preaching or leading my congregation in prayer—because I can sometimes catch myself using words and phrases that are essentially short-cuts, especially when in the moment no other words or phrases come to mind! So I’m guilty of this too!

But if instead we intentionally steer away from using short-hand in-language or at least become more accustomed to articulating our beliefs using language the person on the street can grasp, not only will we be better communicators to those around us who aren’t Christians but we will also be challenged to think more deliberately about the faith we profess. It does us good also.

We should—once in awhile—stop and think about how we express our faith to those around us. We should consider our words, and understand that our words matter. Because if our goal—or one of our goals—is to proclaim our faith, to communicate it clearly, and articulate it in ways that people can understand, then we should make the effort to ensure that people’s first-hand experience of our faith is not our short-hand.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Receiving (and sometimes missing) grace

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my own relationship with God and about how hard it is sometimes to give it a lot of thought or consideration because God is what I do for a living. I don’t intend for that last sentence to sound irreverent, but being a pastor sometimes makes it hard to spend time focusing on your own faith, on your own walk with Christ. And even saying my God is what I do for a living misconstrues the truth and misleads. It’s a weird vocation in that who you are is all mixed up and can get all confused with what you do. If I weren’t a pastor, I’d still read my Bible, but I wouldn’t see sermon outlines in every passage I read (not that I do this all the time but it does happen). If I weren’t a pastor, I’d still pray, but I wouldn’t be leading a whole congregation in prayer each week. Being a pastor means blurring indistinguishably the line between the personal and professional or vocational.

Ironically, sometimes all that goes along with being a pastor can have the effect of crowding out consistent prayer time and Bible study. The very thing I want to teach others to do, I struggle to get done myself. Again, the language of “do” intrudes. The word “be” is much better. But I can’t teach others to be something I myself am not. I can’t pass on habits, spiritual or otherwise, that I don’t myself practice. I worry about this – I worry about how my own failures and weaknesses affect my congregation and how perfect I need to be to be the pastor they need me to be.

Underlying this sometimes, and in some ways, is a failure to grasp grace. Core to the good news is that God comes to us—forgives, redeems, reveals, makes new, and heals—without any effort on our part. We don’t deserve this. He doesn’t have to extend this grace, but grace—and love—are his character (as are holiness, mercy, goodness, justice and many other attributes). He passes on salvation not as a prize for good behaviour but out of an overflowing of good will toward his creatures.

I admit I don’t get grace well enough—that is, while I understand it theologically and biblically and intellectually, many of my attitudes, reactions, moods, and ways of thinking have not yet been sufficiently transformed (converted!) by the reality of this grace, by the reality of who God is. And who he is for us.

I hope admitting such a thing isn’t too startling in coming from a pastor. All I know is that when I look at myself, I see so much need for spiritual transformation. I can discern endless cracks in the walls, leaks in the plumbing, and drafts coming in from the outside.

One of the things I don’t like about being a pastor is that I spend a lot of time not being transparent. That is, most of the time around folks in my congregation it isn’t appropriate to admit to my own struggles and weaknesses and flaws. This is true even if one of my struggles is particularly dogging me at the moment. Finding a place where one can be spiritually open with all the messiness found in even a pastor’s heart is not easy. Companions are not easy to locate. Or maybe I’m not very good at recognizing them when they’re standing right in front of me. Maybe part of me feels I have to be closed off even to people outside the church who could be potential spiritual companions.

Even when posting on this blog, I’ve been quite cautious about the degree of my openness and how personal and direct I allow myself to be—it’s not an anonymous blog and people I know, including some from my church, read it (once in awhile anyway!). Exercising discretion in disclosing personal matters is something every pastor learns quickly.

Part of me wonders (and is still very much figuring out) how a pastor is supposed to relate to his congregation—what he should be and what they would like him to be and what he ought to be could very well be three different things! Though doubtless there is at least some overlap.

Whatever the relationship, certainly grace plays a central role. For even if the pastor does disclose a personal struggle (though not one damaging to his authority or credibility or the well-being of the church; that is, not serious moral failure) that startles some or is simply unexpected in its honesty, hopefully people will still see the pastor as pastor even if the cracks and flaws are more clearly seen. Certainly that is how I hope my people see me—and it’s how I hope they see one another: though broken, God-made; though flawed, redeemed; and though struggling with sin, rescued from its slavery. Seeing one another through the eyes of grace means seeing one another as God does—means relating to one another how God does. We don’t (hopefully!) expect moral perfection of ourselves; and neither should we expect it of those around us.

My prayer for the coming year—though not a steadfast New Year’s Resolution—is that I can learn to rest more comfortably in God’s grace and that I will be, in my attitudes and actions, more transformed by this same grace. I wonder how much our church lives—our journeys of faith and relationships with God—would change if only we had a deeper grasp of not only grace but of the God who in mercy continually extends it in our direction.

A Brief Post-Christmas, Post-New Year's Catch Up

So once again I wonder: should I even bother posting at all? I ask this only because I've been away from it for a month and a half and there are only, likely, less than a dozen people who would even have noticed!

Though my lack of posting this time was not my fault. My computer had to have a hard-drive replaced. This necessitated a three week absence. Fortunately, I did not suffer from the sort of withdrawal I was warned might occur. I gather that some folks, when having to do without their computers, esperience severe symptoms such as sweating, seizures, and incoherent muttering. Shock eventually sets in. Meanwhile, with the exception of having to hand write my sermon notes and use the phone rather than e-mail on a few occasions, I barely noticed. I'm not sure whether this is a good thing or a bad thing.

In the interim, Christmas has come and gone. Though our tree and decorations are still up. It was a good, if busy holiday, this year. It was especially fun watching Ella, now four, opening her presents. That was really the best part, as much as I, I dare to admit, also love getting gifts!

Time has flown by in another way too. My wife is well into her third trimester with our twin boys. We have a lot to do before they arrive! Our house is modest, perhaps even small, and so there's a fair bit of organization and preparation involved in making sure we have a place for them and for us. It will mean juggling our three bedrooms and their present functions!
Having two more kids in the house -- twin boys -- is a reality I can't even begin to imagine. It still seems unreal, abstract, like something I know is going to happen (and relatively soon, in this case) but still have no context for understanding. Of course, we already have one child so we're not completely unfamiliar with the process. But I'm guessing that having these additions to the family will have the effect of re-orienting us so completely that we will be adjusting for quite some time.

All that said, with church responsibilities, the upcoming birth of twins, not to mention all of the other things life tends to throw our way, I wonder sometimes how much a priority I should make this blog. When I do the actual math (time [potentially] expended [if I want to make it worthwhile for readers] + readers [both the number and level of interest they have in this blog] + pleasure gained from amateur, inconsistent writing efforts on my part), the answer isn't always encouraging! Let's just say, I'm thinking about it.

For now, though, I'll try to keep it up and see if I have anything worth saying.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Walking Across Rooms

A small group of us from our church just finished a four week study called Just Walk Across A Room. It’s a DVD curriculum based on Bill Hybels’ book of the same name. This resource is for helping Christians do the work of evangelism even if they don’t have the gift of evangelism. Essentially, the message is this: if you are already a faithful Christian, make a genuine effort to befriend people who are far from God—whether in your workplace or neighbourhood or where you enjoy recreation—simply for the sake of loving them where they are. The point is not to see people as evangelism projects but as individuals created by and for God. This means showing interest in them, caring about them, serving them, becoming friends with them, regardless of whether or not they ever show interest in God, church, Jesus, or spiritual matters.

Hybels highlights three friendships throughout the study (through clips and interviews) that he invested himself in and how, in the midst of those friendships, he was given opportunity to share his faith. But all of these friendships began in very ordinary ways. All began, as the title suggests, with a walk across a room, a willingness to leave one’s comfort zone and either help someone out or just strike up a conversation. In one instance, the friendship was eight years old before the person came to faith. One of his friends interviewed has yet to come to faith but is now more open to the possibility.

I don’t intend here to post a full review of this curriculum. But I will say that it’s a great practical way to get people talking and thinking about being ordinary Christians and what it means for each of us to share our faith. I’m hoping to have at least one or two more groups of people use this curriculum in the coming months.

Sometimes when you do a study on a practical topic, you wonder if anyone who did the study will ever actually apply it in their own lives. It’s deceptively easy to take lessons learned in a small group and leave it there and not be intentional about living it out. The Letter of James warns about this very problem.

So the other night I was leaving our church, which is located across the road from our house, and I saw one of my neighbours (whom I don’t know well) working outside building his new garage. Now, as I said, I didn’t know this guy (and still don’t really know him well), and I’m the kind of person who’s usually hesitant about beginning a conversation with a relative stranger. Odd, perhaps, for a pastor. So as I was leaving the church and walking toward our house, I had the feeling that I should stop and talk to the guy. I did, and I’m glad I did so.

Granted, it was maybe a ten minute conversation and wasn’t at all religious. It was, by definition, small-talk. But all conversations—to say nothing of friendships—have to start somewhere. And in this case, I felt I was being challenged by God to live out simply one of the key lessons of this study—sometimes it’s all about walking across the room or, in this instance, across the street.

I have one more example. We have new neighbours. It’s a young couple who bought the house next to ours. They’ve had to do a lot of renovations to the house because there was a fire in the home at the beginning of the year. Anyway, a couple of days ago my little girl and I made a couple of chocolate cakes and decided that we, as a family, ought to bring one of them over to our new neighbours as a way of saying hello and welcome. We ended up hanging out there for more than an hour talking with them and their extended family (who also live in the area). Here it was a matter of a walk down the street.

But both opportunities were simple—simple enough for anyone, and a step taken that could lead to opportunities to share faith with people far from God. Neither occasion demanded that I drop off tracts, share the four spiritual laws, or memorize vast amounts of apologetic information (all of which can still have their place depending on the situation). All one needs is a receptive heart, a willing and submissive spirit, and a desire to show love and concern to others who are as much in need of the gospel we ourselves proclaim through our living. And one the best ways to proclaim Jesus through our living is through simple acts of walking across rooms—which is not unlike what Christ himself did in walking across the room from eternity to time.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Keep on Reading

Over the last year I've been on a Bible reading plan. I must confess, I've never used a Bible reading plan prior to this. But last year when I saw the The Books of the Bible presentation of the TNIV put out by the International Bible Society, I was immediately attracted to the format and its possibilities for encouraging fuller Bible reading. So last January several members of our church committed themselves to reading the Bible in a year. We even had a special service dedicated to the importance of the Scriptures in our lives as Christians -- we also dedicated and handed out these new Bibles during this service.

Generally, one would think that being on a reading plan would make it easier to dedicate oneself to keeping regular in one's Scripture reading. And I think that, largely, this is true. I've been more regular in my reading over the course of this past year as a result. Although one of the things I've said to those also on this reading plan is that the important thing, even if you get behind, is to keep on reading. So, if you're supposed to be in the NT and are still finishing up the OT, don't allow getting behind become a discouragement that halts your reading. Keep on reading. Even if your one year plan turns into a two year plan, keep on reading.

I've had to tell myself this too. Over the summer it was a little easier to let myself get behind, especially once I was in the major prophets. Some portions of Scripture are definitely more challenging and difficult than others. Some books are simply hard to plow through. And as a result, I'm behind myself. And although the reading plan is meant for us to read the Bible through from beginning to end, I've actually chosen to mix-up my reading, moving from Paul's epistles to Acts, to the general epistles, and back to the OT. This, I find, helps. I'm not entirely sure yet whether I'll complete it within the alloted year -- and I certainly plan on attempting this -- my plan is still to keep on reading.

One of the great benefits of a reading plan is that you don't arbitrarily decide what portions of the Bible to read. It's not only about reading your favourite books of the Bible. It's not just about finding an encouraging verse (out of context!) for the day. You're taken through the entire Bible. Rather than sticking primarily to the epistles (especially Paul), the Gospels, and the Psalms, you also have to read the minor prophets, the books of the Law, wisdom literature, and lots of genealogies!

Of course, one of the downsides of a year-long reading plan is that you read at a pace that doesn't really allow for deeper study. And if you get behind at all, playing catch up means you have even less time to ponder the words you read. But, that said, there is some benefit to reading through an entire gospel or epistle all at once as one would a book or novel. Like reading a novel, one is immersed in a story, a world, and you become a participant in it. So much of the Bible is narrative that one must think that God intends this. Verse and chapter divisions, while helpful for some purposes, is not as helpful for this kind of reading as it tends to encourage atomizing the text.

I will say, though, that this kind of Bible reading should not be our only kind of Bible reading. As much as I love reading through a whole book in a sitting (when possible!), as is the case with one of the epistles or even one of the shorter gospels (such as Mark), there's no substitute for deeper, more intensive Bible study. Breaking down verses, getting a grasp of specific words and their meaning in context, pondering the text slowly and prayerfully and studiously is a discipline important for all believers, not only pastors and teachers.

So I encourage those of you who haven't ever tried a reading plan to do so. You may think that there's no way of getting through the Bible in a year, but even if you don't make it all in a year it is good to have the discipline of a reading plan. Probably without exception, most who work through reading plans have days when they miss their daily passages. We all get busy. And sometimes we can let lesser things crowd out the priority of Bible reading. But a reading plan does have a way of reminding, of keeping you on track, and of keeping you accountable. All this to say, keep on reading.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

So's Christmas . . .

The other day I was in a grocery store picking up a few things and I heard it, something I wasn't that interested in hearing yet, something that, when you hear it too early, inspires precisely the opposite sentiment intended. That it is Christmas music.

There's a saying: someone will say something is imminent, something's coming, and then someone else will say: "So's Christmas!" And it is. Christmas is coming. I can't stop it, but I can say that I wish it wasn't so quickly pushed on us.

Christmas is a mixed bag. In that bag there is both blessing and curse, good and bad, pleasure and pain, stress and peace. And, inevitably, each year when it approaches I experience mixed feelings. A part of me looks forward to time with family, giving and receiving gifts, seeing the look on my daughter's face when she opens presents. And then another part of me dreads the extra busyness, trips to insanely crowded stores, the swelled budget, and the emotions that go along with years of Christmas memories.

We can bring with us all kinds of unspoken and even unconscious expectations to holidays such as Christmas. Maybe especially Christmas. For years I had a picture in my head of an ideal Christmas. And each year that ideal picture was frustrated. Now, the ideal itself was questionable, to be sure, but I imagine that I'm not unique in having one. Usually there's the perfect Christmas we picture and there's the Christmas we actually experience.

Someone told me the other that the big problem with Christmas is that people get all worked up about how they want it to turn out, their expectations get all ramped up, and so inevitably they end up disappointed. I think that's true. And I think it's partly because people want Christmas to be special and to be the kind of experience that transcends the rest of life. So for example we hope against hope that at least for one day we won't argue with anyone in our family, that there will be "peace on earth." Or that there will be peace at least while someone is passing the potatoes and stuffing and until all the gifts are unwrapped.

Of course, there is nothing special about Christmas -- there's nothing magical about that date on the calendar. If you don't have peace in your heart already, you're not altogether likely to find it on that day. The holiday won't do the job of peace-making for us. Only he whose name is at the root of this holy-day can bring such peace. And the peace he longs to bring to each of us is something we need more than one day out of 365! To that extent, every day should be Christmas day.

So Christmas is coming. Yes it is. And since my wife and mother-in-law love Christmas, I've already begun to hear about it at home too. I guess what I don't like about hearing the music in the stores already is that the mood it hopes to invoke is a manufactured peace, a commercialized sense of hope and cheer. It's the way peace, love, joy, and hope are sold as sale items at WalMart.

When we think we can purchase what we need, we lose sight of the fact that with Christmas God began the transaction that gives us all we need. God purchased our peace through the incarnation -- the coming of God in the flesh -- and eventually through the blood of the cross. What we need, we cannot use a credit card to acquire. What God freely gives, we can never buy. There's never enough money in our account. Love became flesh and blood on that first Christmas. It is a love freely offered, freely given, to be freely received. So when someone says to you, "Christmas is coming," I hope that this comes to your mind more quickly than that shopping list you've drawn up.

Count Your Blessings: Part Two (and, apparently, Three!)

Yes, yes, it's been awhile . . . again . . . I can't say that I have any excuses -- I'm probably no busier than your average person. Perhaps I just need to be better organized with my time. In my defense, I tried to post a couple of days ago and my computer re-booted on its own. Frustrated, I put it off. So here I go again . . .

Last time I mentioned that my wife is pregnant. Well, she had an ultrasound about a week ago and -- lo and behold -- we received some shocking and exciting news: not only is my wife pregnant, but she is pregnant with twins! I must say, I was absolutely stunned; and then once the fact settled in, I became incredibly excited. At least one of the kids is a boy; the other one probably is, but he was "hiding." So in about four or five months we're going to go from being a family of three to a family of five. That'll be an adjustment!

The real blessing here is that we weren't even sure if we were going to have any more kids at all. Since Alisha was seriously depressed during her pregnancy with Ella, doctors actually advised us against it. I guess it was sort of a cost-benefit analysis. It was about weighing the risks. And then in the spring we had a pregnancy scare which made us reconsider the possibility. With much prayer, conversation, and contemplation, we decided to open ourselves to more kids -- though we thought that it would be, at least at first, one kid! When God blesses, sometimes he does so abundantly.

So we have a lot of preparation in the days ahead. And once the shock subsided, my wife and I realized that having twins was going to mean two new carseats, two cribs (eventually anyway), etc. All that said, we're still filled with joy. Now, being a parent and concerned husband, I'll be that much more relaxed when the twins have been successfully delivered and they and Mommy are healthy and well and home. Trepidation accompanies joy.

In weighing the risks of being open to having more kids, we found out we're having two which significantly raises the risks of the pregnancy, not to mention the risks of parenting! One set of risks has been exchanged for another. But I guess life is a risk -- to sound terribly cliche. Life wouldn't be full of much without risks. God blesses -- and richly -- but risks also come along for the ride. The catch is we can't receive blessings without also accepting the risks. Counting our blessings means also counting the costs. And right now I'm glad to be able to count both, because we're having boys!

Monday, October 06, 2008

Long Time, No Post . . .

So, yeah, it's been awhile since I've posted. I figure not too many people are waiting with bated-breath at what I'll say next, so my absence probably isn't very noteworthy. In any case, I just haven't had time lately. Given this, I have no earthly idea how people can manage to keep up to date on things like Twitter, Face Book, and My Space. I'm lucky to check my e-mail and come here to post on my own blog!

Even this post will not be long -- just a brief note to catch up on a couple of things.

First of all, tomorrow my little girl turns 4. Wow. I can't believe she's been with us that long. And she's growing so fast. What's cool is that this is the first birthday that she's really been able to anticipate. Actually, she's been looking forward to it for months! Should be fun to see her face tomorrow.

And second . . . Well, this is a BIG second. My wife is pregnant and due (roughly) the beginning of April. She's just entered her second trimester. We found out late July. And we're all pretty excited. I'll save this story for later, but since we weren't sure we'd ever have another one we're pretty psyched!

Hmmm . . . That's all the big news. Church is going along nicely. This fall we're doing a new four week group study using Just Walk Across the Room. I'm preaching through the Gospel of Mark. We're going to replace an old run down direction sign for a shiny new one. My wife and I are going to an evangelism conference for a week or so later this month. And our church's 30th anniversary is also approaching and we're hoping to do something special for that.

Anyway, I'm hoping to post more regularly from here on in. Can't make any promises, though, but I'll try!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Count Your Blessings: Part One

Life is full of blessings. Some blessings are in the form of people, some are things, some are experiences. Unfortunately, we often take these blessings for granted. We can so easily forget how blessed we are; our blessings, right in front of us, escape our view. This happens to me sometimes too. So to remind myself, and to share them with you (whoever you are!), I thought I'd list some of them here. Therefore, without any further adieu, let me begin to count my blessings.

This, folks, is my wife, Alisha. Here she is doing something she loves doing: reading. And here she is doing it at a place she loves: her parents' camp. Now, I can't even begin to imagine how big a blessing she has been to me. Whether through her intelligence, her sense of humour, her sense of adventure, or her faith she has made me more me. I think one of the most important things our husbands and wives do for us is to draw us more out of ourselves, help us to become more of who are meant by God to be. Alisha has definitely done this for me. She has been a source of strength and encouragement more times than I can count. And she has also challenged my comfort zones on plenty of occasions, bringing me on all kinds of adventures that I would have hardly embarked upon on my own. Of course, sometimes that means getting lost in the woods!


Aha. My little girl, Ella. My, my, it's hard to believe she'll turn four this October. She's smart, funny, creative, imaginative, has a great laugh, loves to tease, enjoys dancing, listens to all kinds of music from worship music to classical to U2 and Jars of Clay, and loves singing and will do so even when out in the yard by herself. While being a parent is not always easy, I can't imagine having it any easier than we do with Ella. She brings joy into our lives, and surprises us constantly with her ability to express herself. Her personality is a curious one. She absorbs knowledge and information at a breackneck pace. She is also sensitive and feels things deeply. And she's a lot of fun to be around! She reminds me of the importance of play.


This is Sharon. She's my mother-in-law. And she's been a huge blessing too. While I tease her mercilessly sometimes, it's not because any of those really mean mother-in-law jokes apply to her. We actually get along incredibly well. We talk a lot. We talk about books, music, and, quite often, have long, deep conversations about life, ministry, and faith. We share similar interests so much so that she sometimes says I'm more like her than either of her kids! In addition to all this, she's been and continues to be a tremendous support to me in my ministry in countless ways. Plus, she and my father-in-law live relatively close and so can babysit quite frequently!


Speaking of my father-in-law, this is him. This is Harold. He's the strong, silent, sometimes grumpy type. He's a man of the woods, of working and playing outdoors. He's a man of integrity, someone trustworthy, someone reliable. He's also a tease. I think that's where Ella gets it! He knows a lot more about cars than I do, so he helps us out when our car needs looking at. In a lot of ways, he's become the father I never had.


These are just some of the blessings in my life and, surprise, surprise, they're people! Isn't that the way? There are other important people, too, and I will get to them. But it's getting late now and I need to get to bed. So this has become part one of this post because I need the blessing of a comfortable bed and a good night's sleep.



Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Truth in Fiction

Both at home and in my office at the church, there are walls lined with books. And in both places some books belong to me and some belong to my wife. In fact, during our actual wedding ceremony we included as a part of the vows, "All my worldly goods to thee I endow." Then and now, there is something ironic about that vow. We didn't have an abundance of worldly goods then, and the same is true now. We joked at the time that this part of our vows referred specifically to our respective book collections! So, appropriately, my books are also hers and vice-versa.

But of course we have different interests when it comes to books. Alisha prefers fiction, particularly historical fiction, and books that relate to whatever she's working on. For instance, she does some home-schooling with our daughter, and so we've seen many books on this topic borrowed from the library clutter endtables and dining room tables and various other nooks and crannies.

As far as I'm concerned, however, my reading tends toward the academic or semi-academic. To take one example, I just picked up Darrell Bock's book, The Missing Gospels: Unearthing the Truth Behind Alternative Christianities. And I likely would have done so whether I were presently a pastor or not. It's not simply work reading. I also spent a considerable amount of time re-reading some recent books by Eugene Peterson over my vacation: Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places and The Jesus Way. I didn't finish them by any stretch, but enjoyed immensely what I did read.

But one thing that rarely makes my reading list is fiction. For some reason fiction and I have never clicked. My interest has never been stoked by novels. I think in part the reason is that my experiences with literature in high school did nothing to endear the classics to me. If anything, it instilled in me an aversion to the likes of Shakespeare and anything that we had to study in class. We were taught (or they tried to teach us) to analyse rather than enjoy and savour. But nitpicking and picking apart just seemed, to me at least, to suck the life out of books that I might have otherwise appreciated.

And rarely does my wife hassle me to read anything. Except she recently read a quadrilogy of books by Karen Hancock called The Legends of the Guardian-King. So she kept insisting (more or less) that I ought to read these books. One thing in her favour this time is that they were fantasy novels. One of the rare instances where I picked up novels includes reading The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

So when on vacation, I decided to give them a whirl. I have to say that I was very surprised and impressed. Of course, I still have to finish book four. Full judgement is something I reserve until the very end. They're touted as being an allegorical fantasy series, and there are definite biblical parallels to both characters and events, but they would be readable and enjoyable even without that extra layer to the narrative. On a non-allegorical level, there is a faith perspective in these books; that is, there is a spiritual world-view that parallels Christianity. Tersius is the Christ-figure. Eidon is God. Terstmeets are church services. If you're looking for some good fantasy fiction, I heartily recommend Hancock's books.

One of the things that struck me as I was reading these books was how the author wove into the story faith elements that could resonate deeply with people of faith in the real world, whether it was about the mystery of God and what it means to trust him even when we don't fully understand his ways or how we can sometimes struggle with our calling and vocation, with our own weaknesses, despite the identity we know God has given us. She also shows through her narrative the way people struggle even in coming to faith and how individuals can resist the pull of God on their heart. She shows how God can allow us to experience trials and how trials can make it more difficult for people to believe in God. We also see characters who are Christians ("Terstans") and how they try and live lives of witness to those around them who still refuse to believe.

What I also appreciated about her writing style is that she doesn't bludgeon anyone over the head with religious belief -- there is never a moment when you feel manipulated as a reader. Rather, she allows the story to play out more naturally. These books are not sermons in narrative form. Her writing is artful, thoughtful, and rich with visual detail and description that pulls you not only into the characters but into a vivid, imaginative world that betrays the rich influence of other writers like Tolkien (Middle-Earth) and Lewis (Narnia). Of course, I doubt she's unique among modern fantasy writers in her ability to do this, but since I read next to no fiction it is new to me.

I also enjoyed how some of her themes and ideas resonated with me personally -- that is, I found myself, at times, in her story. And this, of course, is the whole point of story. This is the power of story. And so it's no wonder that much of our Bible is cast in story form. The Scriptures are the story of God with us. I said that her ability is obviously not unique. All good storytellers do this. So when I told my wife and mother-in-law about my experience of reading these novels, they weren't surprised but were glad that I enjoyed them. If you're already a fan of classic writers like Tolkien and Lewis, no doubt you'd enjoy these books too.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Vacation: Finale

Our vacation is over. Actually, it was over two days ago. On our last day, Sunday, I must confess it felt strange to be packing for home. I was genuinely sorry, at first, to have reached the end. I'm not completely sure why, because I've always experienced a readiness to return to regular life after vacation. Usually, I'm anxious to get back to normal routine. This year, though, I think I ended up finding it so relaxing that I didn't want it to end! But end it has.

We spent our vacation at my in-laws camp, which along with a number of others, is located on a small lake. My wife, daughter, and I spent nearly two weeks playing games, canoing, BBQing, reading, sitting in the sun and, on occasion, visiting neighbours from other camps. And for a good chunk of our vacation, we were joined by my mother-in-law. On fewer occasions, we were joined by my father-in-law.

So now we're home. The fall is already underway. In less than a month my daughter turns 4. Thanksgiving follows on its heels. A new season of church ministry is up and going. And Christmas, as they say, is just around the corner. Arriving back, it's easy for me to all of a sudden feel overwhelmed with all there is to do. Having been on vacation makes one feel as though you've been out of the loop. There is stuff to catch up on. In light of all this, I hope and pray that I can carry the spirit of rest from vacation into the rest of life.