Random Thoughts On Late Night Parenting

Getting up at 3:3oam to help feed and change your twin boys and not being able to go back to bed because one of them refuses to settle down and because your wife has what is probably a gall-bladder attack and because your daugter wakes up at around 5am due to all the commotion is, contrary to some opinions, not all that it's cracked up to be. That was last night (yesterday morning). Tonight (this morning) has been a little better. I actually got a few hours sleep so far. Though we still had to separate the boys -- I ended up in the living room with Henry. I love my boys, Henry and Eli, but I'll be very happy when (and if??) they start to sleep through.

Around 6am yesterday I realized there was really no point in trying to go back to bed. I had been up for nearly 3 hours. It was hard for me to relax because I was always thinking about the boys and hoping (and praying!) they'd stay asleep. So I stayed up. And around 7 or 8am I got sort of second wind; that is, I no longer quite felt as though I had been up all night. I anticipated crashing either later in the day or the next day. And I did, thanks to my mother in law who came to help after I gave her an early morning call. Thank God for family living nearby!

Now the funny thing is, these sorts of things -- family incidents, let's call them -- often, if not always, seem to happen on Saturday nights. This, for most people, would be ideal. It's the weekend, right? At least we don't have to work in the morning! That would be true for many, but obviously not for me (and if you're wondering why, just look at the name of this blog again!).

This means I had to go to church -- and not only go to church, but play guitar for the worship team and preach and lead the service. I'm not complaining, mind you. But most pastors do this with more than a couple hours of poor sleep behind them. Thankfully everything went well. Actually, it was a meaningful time of worship and fellowship. Odd though it may seem, God sometimes does his best work through us when we can in no way rely on ourselves. When it seems like we're in no position to work on his behalf, in those moments he graciously equips us. How else to explain the fact that one of my church people told me that yesterday's sermon was one of my best in awhile? (She was quick to add that I always do well, but was just particularly impressed and/or moved by this message).

As I write these words, it is around 6:38am on a Monday morning. I've more or less been up since 5am. Henry has still not fallen asleep, despite having been fed and changed. I don't hear Eli's cries from the bedroom anymore, so I take it that he's conked out. It could be that Henry is hungry -- again!! These guys have quite the appetite. So I'm slowly getting some milk ready for him to eat, since I want my wife to be able to sleep.

Having said all of this, I am still a grateful father and husband. Tired, yes. Somewhat delirious from said sleep deprivation? Yes, but still grateful. And I will be until after I've fallen asleep for too short a time and one of my kids, probably our little girl, wakes up in time to get me up before I've gotten enough rest. Oh, I'll still be grateful even then. Because I know that, hopefully, later I get to take a nap!

A Family Update . . .

Yes, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted. But this time I actually have very good reason! The last time I updated my blog was five days after my boys—Henry and Eli—were born, and with all of the travel of going back and forth to the hospital, which is some distance from our home, taking time to post thoughts or updates here just wasn’t that high on the priority list.

Thankfully, Alisha was discharged just over a week ago. That’s made things much easier at home and for Ella, our four year old. It means that I don’t need to run around as much and that we’re home. Before her release, I was splitting my time between living at home and at the in-laws (who are closer to the hospital and able to help with Ella).

It also means there’s that much more normality to life and routine, even if we are traveling to the hospital to visit the boys on a daily to semi-daily basis. As it is, I don’t travel there as much as Alisha. Her Mum takes her about half the time, freeing me up to stay home and work. Yes, in the midst of all this topsy-turvy stuff, life goes on and I still have a job (or, more accurately, a vocation, but that’s a different post!).

Because the boys are so far away still in NICU, Alisha and I have both commented that, strange though it may seem, it can sometimes feel that we’ve not become parents again. Most days, especially when I’m home working, feel like a lot of other days. She even joked once, “It’s like when we’re in infant limbo,” an amusing, if highly inaccurate quip using the name of a (biblically unsound) Roman Catholic dogma.

Of course, given what we’ve been through over the last three or four weeks, when the boys do finally come home it’s going to be a BIG celebration. It will be joyous. It will be a relief. It will be wonderful. And, yes, it will be an adjustment and a time of settling will be all-important for us as a family. I can’t wait!!